An Alchemist's Blog

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Recently, i started writing on a spiritual site called Speaking Tree. Here is a link to my blog there:

http://www.speakingtree.in/public/mohyna.srinivasan/blog

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Thank you for reading.

Awareness

Before a sadhaka walks on the spiritual path, in fact even before he or she is known as a sadhaka, he lives in a dream...the dream of THIS world. He lives only in this world, for this world and of this world. His awareness is of the world around him and that alone takes up all this attention. This is awareness not of the kind that is lasting or permanent, but a fleeting awareness. Nothing lasts in this world. The awareness that was there yesterday is gone today. The joys are high and the sorrows are higher. Everything is topsy-turvy all the time and there is very little control. 

Then she choses to walk on the spiritual path. One of the first effects is that awareness is drawn inwards and to herself. This is also considered a very selfish part of the journey. The sadhaka is struggling to balance the inner and outer world; indeed to find her inner world. Her appetite is whetted and all she wants is to search and find. But the goal is far and the path difficult. She is absorbed and obsessed with her goal and her journey. In fact she seems to lose awareness of everything and everyone around her as she struggles within herself. Obviously to a lay observer she is being self-centered, self-obsessed and uncaring of her outside world. And they are not to be blamed, for that is what they think and what they know. However, her uncaringness is of a different kind. She is not mindfully being uncaring - she cannot help herself. At this phase of her journey her duties lie towards herself. She must take care of her body and her mind in order to reach her soul and her inner depths. She spends a lot of time in solitude and in prayer and meditation. She practices rigid routines and regimens. She is careful about how she exposes herself to her environment. She is detached, almost aloof. But remember she is doing this with a certain fierce objective in mind. It is not an unmindful, uncaring carelessness. 

Then the time comes when the sadhaka is comfortable with his own body and his mind is more under his control. This is when he shifts his energies to his heart and his heart blossoms with love and compassion. He speads this to those around him and enlightens them with his love and caring. The whole world will soon feel his love as was the case with the Buddha. This is indeed a difficult stage to reach in most ordinary lives. And most people will struggle and die in the unaware and self-aware stages. But for one who transcends these stages, Buddha-hood awaits him. 

It is said, when the Buddha walked into a space he instantly became aware of everything in it. He 'saw' the whole place in one glimpse, without even moving his eyes or head. He 'saw' them by a means of energy exchange. He saw the widow weeping in the corner, the sick suffering on  another side and the group of devotees all assembled together in the centre. And His love and compassion reached out to all in the room at the same time and in the same way. He noticed everything, He grasped everything, He cared for everything. He had no thoughts, no judgements, no space wasted in His mind on such matters - just pure awareness of what was in front of Him. 

It is a goal to cultivate in each one of us. If we stopped sharing our head with thoughts and emotions, we would have the time to give love and care and attention to all creatures, starting with ourselves, and all things, at the same time, all the time. 

The path to this awareness is meditation and contemplation. 

To-do or not to-do

I have a to-do list that I update/renew every Monday. That means I take a new sheet of paper and transcribe all the items from last week's list that are still undone onto this week's list and add on the new items to be done this week. This is a beautiful ritual that i love to follow. Mostly the last week's list should have several scratched out items, and seeing these well-obliterated jobs gives me a great sense of achievement. The new week's list usually starts out sparse, but is soon teeming with things that need my attention. 

I love my to-do list. I am extremely attached to it. It travels with me when I leave the house, so I can regularly glance at it and keep re-assuring myself that jobs are being done and hence struck off the list. Besides it also has my shopping list on it, so i usually refer to it while i am out shopping. When i return home, the list comes out of my bag and gets stashed on my bed-side table. But not before I painstakingly strike through the hearts of the jobs i have accomplished on that particular outing. When i shift venues to my desk, the list accompnies me and sits next to my computer, waiting to be referred to. So much so, that the list has to be the last thing i look at before i go to bed and usually the first thing in the morning, too. If the list is ever lost, there is pandemonium. I don't normally shout and scream about it anymore, but i do have a sinking feeling of loss if the list is misplaced or lost. Neither do i enjoy others looking at my list and, God forbid, ridiculing it. The children may look at it and go, 'Sausages? Call for fish delivery?, Call mango-wallah?, Plumber repair?, order gas?, write blog? Really mom? You write all that stuff down before you do it?' And they will snigger their way back to their rooms. Never mind - let them find out for themselves one day. When their memories are failing, and small things are forgotten, they will remember the joys of list-making.

 

However, though i tout the joys and virtues of it, the to-do list can be a bit of a handicap at times. For eg. what's not on the list never gets done. Also, the act of putting it on the list sometimes acts as a placebo for doing it instead. The to-do list becomes a perfect aide to a procrastinator - namely me! In fact, it was probably invented by one. Made in the name of aiding one's memory, what it actually aides is one's laziness and inability to take action. Well, having said all that, i now wonder what I should do about this habit of mine?

 

In a flash of inspiration I had a few ideas:

[] Firstly, make your list on loose paper, not in a diary or book. Its a great feeling to destroy the list - even a half finished one, and begin a new one on a fresh sheet. It provides the benefits of 'new-beginnings' and hence more verve and initiative.

[] Multi-task - learn something from your kids ;-)! Reply minor emails while you watch TV. Things will get done at least, even if not ideally. 

[] Never put down important things on the list, for fear of them sitting there comfortably and not getting done. These may be the slightly awkward and unpleasant things, most of the time. For eg, don't write down 'Must write 500 words a day', instead just do it. And as my publishing coach, Daphne Gray Grant said, 'Swallow the frog first thing in the morning.' That means do the most difficult things early on in the day. Be it exercise, cooking, phone-calls, writing - whatever is tedious for you, do it first of all. Then the rest will seem easy. Corollary: most of the time, don't multi-task while doing these all-important tasks. 

[] If the list is too long to start with, make a smaller 'list for today' and do not rest until it is struck off. Make sure you shred the mini-list to bits as soon as you can in the day and bin it. This will release you from the drudgery of the list.

[] Prioritize. Put A-class items in one column, B class in another (in terms of importance or tediousness) and C-class items should be the really mundane - phone calls, replying messages, shopping. C-class should be accomplished very early in the week. Do not let them linger or accumulate. For new C-class items will keep cropping up and taking the place of those already demised. Don't let this pile grow - it will grow anyway, whether you do them or not. This being the nature of C-class chores, accept it. Make sure you knock off some A and B class items each day. Cleaning that drawer, doing the taxes, writing your resume. Tackle at least one or more of these. They are daunting so they risk never being tackled...and will re-appear on the next week's list, every week. 

[] Reward. For me the best thing to do in a day is to remain lost in my book - reading. I could do this for weeks and months until moss began to grow over me. Instead, i try to stir myself, accomplish something on my list and then return to my book. Knowing there is a reward, makes me eager to finish the job at hand and go back to what I love. Always make sure the jobs are small and you can be rewarded sooner. If its a large job, do half of it or a quarter and then keep going back to it after suitable 'reward' breaks. It really works!

Finally, for advanced practitioners of the art of to-do-ing, the goal is to-do-away with the list altogether! Do things as they come to you, striking them off before they even manifest. Spiritually, too, this is the preferred approach. It is the path of Karma Yoga - doing your duty and forgetting about it henceforth. There will be less clutter in your mind and your home and the calm that accompanies right action will help you rise spiritually. Besides you will not suffer from attachment to the list and the addiction to the joys/woes of accomplishing/not accomplishing the list. It will be a much more equanimous world with a restful mind. The mind will agitate less as you will keep doing things instead of thinking or worrying about them.  

Well, the last is most definitely Utopia for me. Until I get there, let me put it down on my list,

'99. Must have no to-do list anymore.'

 

The Age of The Flash Mob

Even as i write the title of this post, I am smiling. What joy to be alive in the age of the flash mob!

I recall the term 'flash floods' growing up and though i never experienced one, they sounded like an emergency  - life threatening and to be avoided at all costs. I recall signs like, 'Do not linger on this bridge - flash floods could occur at short notice.' and the like. I always wondered how quickly a body of water could gather so much momentum, that without warning a person could be swept away, compromising everything, including his life. It seemed bizzare, but i never wanted to put the signs and warnings to test. 

Then i saw the flash mob - and i understood.

I have never watched one live, but i have watched them alive. And they are something i dont mind being swept up by - and i do understand the speed of the swirling motions and emotions that it is possible to get caught up in. Searches on Youtube will throw up dozens of flashmobs all of a sudden. They seem to be the youth 'movement' of this day. And they are wonderful! They are a beautiful expression of our youth, their confidence, their grace, their love, pizzazz and passions. The songs may be well-known and popular - but the movements are all their own. Most flash mobs are choreographed with simplicity for the masses. They replace with impunity the complicated steps of Bollywood - aping those are so passe. I can imagine a spurt, not of Bollywood dance classes, but instead, Flash-mob Dance Classes. 'Mummy Mummy, I want to learn the steps of the Flash-mob on Senorita in Park Street, Kolkatta!' 'Yes darling, I will find out where they have a class for that.' Because whatever is popular sells - and the flash-mobs are definitely being watched and emulated - be it in our chairs or our drawing rooms, as we watch and enjoy them second hand. 

And the next time you watch a flash mob, just look at the faces. There is such joy and abandon and revelry in the actions. It is ultimate freedom. The pepper on the top comes from the cheekiness of doing something in a public place that stops traffic, turns heads and sets cameras whirring. Yes, it is over-age, under the radar, above board, below the noses of the authorities, dead centre, and on the right side of society.

Nowadays the flashmobs that are on Youtube come with full credits - that scroll over the screen at the end of the performance. Read the names - Kalra, Goyal, Khanna, Gupta, Dhanuka, Mishra, Kar, Agarwal, Jaiswal, Modi, Singh, Patel, Patherya, Gomes, Jain, Khan...and be amazed. The street is the equalizer and the flash mob the catalyst. Flash Dance India! Your volume's turned way up!

This was done during the Celebration Week on Park Street, Kolkata, India...turn up the volume http://www.youtube.com/embed/ZiD9LfXOx20 The song is from zindagi na milegi dobara – one of the hit movies of 2011

 

Ahimsa

Long before Ahimsa became a 'weapon' in the hands of Gandhiji with which he 'fought' our freedom struggle, Ahimsa was a part of Indian philosophical thought. Though now, if you think ahimsa, you think of Mahatma Gandhi, it may be appropriate to go back a few centuries to the Yoga Sutras written by Patanjali. He wrote of Ahimsa as a restraint principle to be observed - a Yama, making it a part of the first rung of the ladder called Ashtanga Yoga or the 8 step path to achieve the Ultimate. What is Ahimsa and why is it a restraint? Logically, we should practice ahimsa or non-violence, not be restrained about observing it. However, he does not refer to ahimsa in the logical sense. He has a more indirect way of teaching us about ahimsa. He really means us to restrain ourselves in everyway - be it our actions, speech and even our thoughts. By restraining the himsa (or violence), he wants us to reach a state of ahimsa. He knew that our thoughts are our bigger enemy - not just what we say and do. It is negative thoughts that send us in a spiral of non-restraint. Hence he wanted us to restrain our thoughts first and then everything else will follow. For Patanjali, even an uncharitable or negative thought amounts to violence. For you have violated another person or thing in your mind! And these thoughts are powerful as we all know. They fuel us and push us to do things we did not think us capable of. They make us do positive as well as negative things. So control them, Patanjali says! Be non-violent or restrained in your thoughts, not just your words, deeds and actions. If a man donates money to charity, but in his mind is thinking of embezzling his employer, or his state or his country, he is indulging in himsa. He is a himsak. Only if he truly restrains his every thought - making them pure and positive, he can be said to observe this first part of the first step towards realization of himself. 

Try it. Vow to restrain your unconscious negative thoughts and be a true ahimsakari. 

Random

Starting a blog post that is more like random jottings. Lets hope they are worthwhile..

I never hang up first when i speak to my mother. There may be something more that she wants to say...

 

I overheard a mother tell her young impressionable 4 year old that her 'hair would fall out if she told a lie'. I thought that was pretty silly, considering the mother was telling a lie. And what would the child think of her mother once she realized how crazy that statement was?

 

I realized how innocent my maid was when she commented the other day, 'Madam, i have heard that Chinese people eat Chinese food everyday'. This was while i was cooking a Chinese meal for dinner one evening. I said, 'Well, yes. Just as we eat Indian food almost everyday, they eat Chinese food everyday'. What was she thinking? That everyone in the world eats Indian food everyday??

 

I realize its difficult to write without emoticons once you start using emoticons (my fingers are itching to hit the 'tongue out' symbol right now).

 

I thought of adding to this post, but instead have decided to begin a new post...

 

A day spent with a Friend...Priceless

With due apologies to Visa for borrowing their 'priceless' concept, i begin my post.

Oct 15 is my dear friend's birthday - Deepa Soman to those of you who may know her. For years now, Deepa has asked for only one thing of me, that too for her birthday, that we spend a day together, chatting, laughing, reminiscing, doing whatever we please. This tradition we have now wholeheartedly observed for the last 4 years. Since it was that time of year again, after much calendar-matching etcetera that day was today. By way of an agenda we thought of visiting Ganapathi in Mahad, one of the 8 Ashtavinayaks closest to Mumbai. Deepa is an avid Ashtavinayak goer and it was with her and Milind's facilitation that i had done the pilgrimage earlier this year. This seemed like a perfect start to the day - to meet our favourite Lord and seek His blessings. I was on a spiritual / religious discovery, as it were, of this city we live in - Mumbai and this was exactly what i would love to do, especially with Deepa. There wasn't much else planned thereafter and a languid lunch in humid Lonavala over a couple of margheritas was as far as my thoughts had drifted. Not entirely inconceivable, as we had done this in the past ;-).

In reality, the day took a completely different turn. But i should have expected that! Nothing wonderful is ever planned - it just happens with inspiration from an unexplained source. First we worshipped in a full and moving manner at the temple in Mahad. We were going on the Tuesday, Vinayaka's auspicious day and Deepa confessed that in all the years she had been there, she had never ventured on a Tuesday, suspecting large crowds and whatnot. We were pleasantly surprised with an almost empty temple that thronged with energy and vitality at that early hour. This was just the first of many surprises. We shopped in the little temple street for prasad, bangles, idols, cassettes and all manner of small and amazing things. The shopkeepers were old bent women who spoke only Marathi, welcoming us as their first customers of the day. They exclaimed over the 'new' Rs. 2 coins i paid them with. Smaller, lighter, shinier and entirely fake looking, they rejected it first - pushing it back into my palm. Until one of their own confirmed it was indeed the 'new' coin and therefore valid currency. A crying baby with a scraped knee attracted our attention. Her face covered in white powder - obviously the end of her toilet for the day - was streaked with tears of anguish, but mostly anger at having taken a small toss. We commiserated and she was immediately mollified. We left her waving and grinning all over her tear-stained face. 

Where to now? This time our stomachs provided the inspiration. Ramakant's restaurant, famous on the old Mumbai-Pune highway, but now long negelcted due to the new expressway that by-passes it, came up as an option for lunch. It was immediately appealing as it would feed our nostalgia as much as our hunger. But we were so busy talking, we took a wrong turn and were soon heading in the wrong direction. However never challenge two women who have their hearts and stomachs set on something. We u-turned and were soon on our way there. Half an hour later we were there, much to our driver's amusement. 'You came all the way here, for vada pav,' he asked. 'It's priceless,' we told him.

After pet-puja we headed back towards home. On the way Deepa had a gift for me. A visit to the St. Jude's Home on the Tata Memorial Centre grounds in Kharghar. It is a facility where kids with cancer live with their parents while they are receiving treatment. Now think of such a place and what do you imagine? I will tell you what i did. Sadness, children suffering alongside their parents, small, dark and dingy rooms, maybe squalor, unkempt surroundings (after all who would bother with niceties when all your energy was being drained by your child's illness), cramped, overcrowded living conditions, the smell of medicines, fear and despair, and even surly staff alltogether spent doing their jobs. I gulped with trepidation. Was i strong enough for this? Deepa realized and tried to soothe my fears. But it was not until i got there that i truly realized what she meant. 

St. Judes was bright and cheerful as a play school. Colourful walls, tiles, play equipment and smiles. That's all i saw as i walked in. At every step Deepa was greeted like a celebrity she indeed was here. She had had a few interactions and obviously had won their hearts over as much as they had hers and were about to win over mine. The living was on the floors above the recreation and reception area. Each floor is a until of 16 dwellings. They was in fact cubicles with single beds, almirahs, a few shelves and a soft board each. Each one was as neat and clean and as freshly-minted as if it was pressed into service today. The floors were gleaming tiles that shone. The kitchen was spotless. The children walked around - comfortable and clearly 'at home.' The only thing that made it clear they were cancer patients was that most of them had lost all their hair, but this common denominator made then in fact un-inhibited and matter of fact. They greeted us with smiles and tugs. As the parents smiled and said 'namaste.' Deepa seemed to know most of them as she had interviewed several a few weeks ago. On all the 3 floors the story was repeated. An admin-incharge was present on each floor. I saw no desk, no paper - just a pleasing, comforting presence 24X7 from a dedicated staff member and care-giver. She quietly supervised the cleanliness and observation of the rules without being authoritative. The residents seemed eager enough to comply. This was their 'temple' they said. Their refuge. Their place of hope and happiness, even if for a few months. For some it could be the last few mnoths in the life of their child, but such sentiments were never in evidence. Instead I felt a deep sense of gratitude pulsing through the place. 

After such a visit what was there left to do? Nothing much - i had received more than i could ever imagine. I had received grace by observing how the children and their families were dealing with their lot. It was a beautiful if humbling experience. 

We traveled back to Deepa's office where i was further rewarded with a team meeting with her beautiful and talented gang of girls. They are simply the best people to be around - gentle, smart, hardworking, vibrant, positive and multi-faceted - many of them aspiring to be cast in Deepa's mould. We had some amazing exchanges over dry-fruit lassi - a most innovative drink-cum-snack. My day was done. But not until i had put it down so i could record how wonderful it had been and how extremely rewarded and rich my friend makes me feel. 

Har ek friend zaroori hota hai yaar ;-) (now with apologies to Airtel for borrowing their great line!)

Detachment vs. Karma

This is beautiful. I wrote the post on detachment vs. indifference and while i was writing it, i was thinking, but i must focus on action vs. non-action also. And i thought i would do so in the next post. And i got a beautiful reminder through a comment that this indeed needs discussion. Thank you!

There is a difference between detachment and not doing anything. We need to perform deeds in our lifetime - it is the very purpose for which we are born. This is commonly called our karma which in Hindi means simply 'karm' or deeds. We are the only living beings capable of performing actions in a mindful manner. Animals can perform actions (plants cannot) but animals rely only on instinct. Humans instead have instinct, intuition and intellect with which to perform actions. Hence action is an important and expected part of our lives. Action in turn should be determined by dharma or duty. I must perform those actions which are my duty. Duties are towards myself, my family, near and dear ones, work, society, nation and world at large. Hence karma follows from dharma and detachment flows from karma. These are the holy trinity on earth as far as we humans are concerned. Dharma, Karma and Detachment are our guiding principles. 

Once we have done our duty through our deeds, we can move to detachment. But never before! A simplistic example will help clarify. Should i be writing this blog? Yes! Because i deeply feel the need to and it is my karma. Should i be expecting followers and positive comments? No! That is detachment. But detachment could not come before karma or before i wrote the post! Then it would be simple laziness or indifference or tamas in my mind and body. That is not desirable in a human - because humans were born to act and perform duty. So in the end it is a beautiful circular argument. Like all things in life that are circular, the question becomes the answer and the answer the question and so on...! 

Its free

Its true, the best things in life are free. And let us begin with the thing that is most abundantly available and it is free - truly. This vital resource is the air. It sounds obvious and very basic but it is not something we usually focus on. We ignore the fact that we are surrounded by air all the time, yet we do not partake of its wealth. Air is within us as well - at a physical level for sure, but at a physiological level mixed in our blood and tissues. It is also there at the spiritual level - as in the 'space' within us. This inner space that we often hear referred to is nothing but air inside our minds. Some may argue this inner space is a vacuum with nothing inside it, but equally, i feel, in my experience, it is not as dead and inanimate as a vacuum which is in effect a lack of anything. Inner space is air for it is vital and life-giving. It nurtures our inner self just like the air outside nurtures our body. Therefore by deduction it is pure and energized air that we hold inside our spirit bodies.

But there is a difference - the air we breathe in through our nostrils changes subtly as it enters our body and then finally fills our inner spaces. The air becomes prana. This is the greatest alchemy taking place within us, everyday, every minute and second from the moment we are born until the moment we bid goodbye to our earthly frames. We are born alchemists! We did not need a master to learn this science from, we were born with this amazing capability. To make air into prana is the greatest alchemy of all time. For air is to prana as iron is to gold in the field of alchemy. We are literally breathing in something ordinary and making it into something super-extra-ordinary. This is no simple achievement! How do we do it?

We take in simple air - a mix of oxygen, nitrogen, carbon dioxide and other gases. Some of these are harmful, no doubt, as there are pollutants mixed in the air. But let us leave that information aside for the moment, just to simplify. The air goes in through our nostrils. The first contact is with the inner lining of the nose. It starts to warm up or cool down as the case may be as it travels inwards and thus the alchemy begins! Next it travels through the wind pipe into the lungs. These large sacs are made to hold air. This is the final worktable in our body where the alchemy is completed. The larger the working surface, the more is achieved. Hence the objective is to expand the capacity of the lungs as much as possible. Indeed to expand the lungs themselves. Hence the result of all pranayama is to increase the size of the lungs and the capacity automatically increases. We do this by basically stretching the muscles covering the lungs. By breathing deeply in and out in a regulated manner the muscles first stretch then expand. The larger lungs can absorb more air through larger surface area. The life giving oxygen is absorbed in larger quantities and flushes, cleans, energizes, repairs, restores our health and physical well-being. This is a most wonderful phenomenon that occurs at every moment, in fact as you read this! Along with food and water, air is the only thing we need to keep our bodies functioning well. 

How the simple oxygen gets elevated to prana is another matter altogether. This happens in our mind or our consciousness. Our consciousness makes us view the simple act of breathing differently. Hence when done consciously (with awareness of what we are doing) the air becomes a positive force. It is mixed with positive thoughts, calmness, equanimity and a deep desire to change ourselves. This desire exists all the time within us, but we only focus on it when we are conscious of it. The desire to move ourselves forward brings prana into our being rather than mere air or oxygen. The prana then becomes the fuel of forward movement. A small step is achieved everytime we sit and breathe consciously, though we will not be aware or it. And every small step will eventually add up, that also is assured. 

So can you imagine what will happen if we breathe conscious prana into our bodies all the time? We will start to race forward! We will move at a great speed and with huge force. We will open and energise a small bit of our mind every moment and eventually a large conscious living breathing, aware mind will become available to us. We will literally breathe life into a sleeping mind one conscious breath at a time. There are not many people who do this, or we would all be racing forward on our paths and our journeys to achieve the ultimate goal. 

The message for us is nothing else except to breathe consciously. It needs little skill, even a minute old baby does it! So does an old man on his death bed! So why not you and me. Breathe and become the alchemist of your own life. 

Detachment vs. Indifference

Detachment is something worth striving for in life on this earth. It is detachment that will give us happiness in the moment. When we are not attached to our memories and possessions we become free to live unencumbered in the now. Many of us strive to be detached but in effect it is not so. We may be detached in words and even actions, but in our minds we are still attached, still hankering. We wait for our opinion to be asked, even if we do not volunteer it anymore. However in wanting to be heard we are still attached to the act of opining. Sometimes we may think we deserve something due to our position or station or status in life. We may not openly ask for that but we feel we deserve it anyway. Respect cannot be asked for or desired in the world. This is also being attached to the respect that we feel is our right. Is this truly detached?

Detached is the one who acts in the best interest of himself and others and then think no further of his words, actions or deeds. If they are accepted by others as wise and useful, it is fine with him. If they are shunned either due to misinterpretation or any other reason, then also it is fine. If people are indifferent, this also is accepted by the detached person. This is because he got so much satisfaction from the act of doing something that he does not desire any results in the future. His actions begin and end in the present moment and they cease to bother him in the future. He keeps no count of how many people liked what he said or did, followed his advice or recalled his actions. Detachment necessarily needs another companion - that is compassion. Only when there is compassion a detached person can forgive those who may wrong him. For example a person give some genuine heartfelt advice to another. The receiver rejects the words of advice outright. The giver of advice, if he is truly detached will not mind this. He will feel i have done my duty by giving the advice, now it is okay if it is not followed. However in addition he will also forgive the person who rejected his words. He will feel, he is ignorant, forgive him and may God give him wisdom to see what he is missing right now. He will actually pray for the salvation of such a person. 

Does this sound familiar? Is it coming down to the same principle? Yes! Detachment is really absence of ego. For when there is no ego there is no expectation of reward. The doer does and that is all. When there is ego, there is either anger or indifference. If someone does not follow our advice, we feel a sense of rejection followed by indifference or 'i don't care attitude'. Actually we care deeply. The indifference is just a mask the hurt ego wears. Inside it is smarting and waiting to be pampered. Indifference will never help a person achieve detachment. For a detached person will never stop doing. He will do because doing gives him joy, not the results of the deed. An indifferent person on the other hand will become bitter and upset. 

Once again the way forward lies in meditating, which will finally tame the ego. All the added benefits of love, compassion and humility will also flow in addition to detachment!

This Too Shall Pass (the TTSP principle)

The most empowering thought is that nothing is permanent and that everything passes. The world is constantly changing and moving forward. We are not the same person we were in the last minute or second. One thing is for sure, things will move in this world as we know it. 

We all recall the story of the King who asks his courtiers to bring him a single gift that had the power to make him happy when he was sad and sad when he was happy. The courtiers looked far and wide but could find no such thing. Finally an old man brought the King a ring with the simple words inscribed on them: 'This too shall pass.' This was the answer to the conundrum. When we are happy it is wise to remember that it is temporary and it will pass. Equally when we are sad we should think that we may soon be feeling differently or better. 

The only change i would make in the king's story is that i would say we need to come back to the centre from happiness and from sadness and not swing from happy to sad and so on. Being in the centre - at a point of equanimity and perpetual rest is the goal. 

Since it was the Buddha's birthday this week, it is worth recalling that he stood for the middle path. Amongst other things, he preached an abstinence from too much happiness and too much sorrow. We should always keep balance or perspective in the face of extremes. This is a learned or wise man's stance!