An Alchemist's Blog

What I learnt through Mumbai's 26/11 was...

(I record below some swinging emotions that i went through in the 60 hours that Bombay was under the spell of terror. Some are facitious and light-hearted, others may be darkly humorous, but all are true).

...how to work the TV remote. I learnt the place the news channels exist and which ones were worth watching. Never have I had such an extensive course in TV viewing as in those 4 days from 26/11 through 29/11. I learnt to expertly toggle between different channels, hide the remote so my son could not change to his channel, switch on the TV silently in the dead of night when I wanted to catch the latest on our very own reality show live in Mumbai.

...how loud a sudden sound can be. In fact any sound for too loud for me and i was jumping constantly at things happening around me that i was normally immune to. My kids squabbling got on my nerves and they did a lot of that, cooped up as were in the house for four days with nothing much to do.

...how a simple decision to go out to dinner could become a choice between life and death, as it did for a couple with three kids who went out never to return. They lost their lives in a restaurant, victims to indiscrimate shooting from terrorists who simply opened fire all around them. This couple of Indian origin had chosen to return to India, to give their children a taste of what 'real life' is.

...how a city as disparate as Mumbai comes together and holds its collective breath waiting to exhale. It was only after each and every terrorist was neutralised that the city seemed to get back to some sort of normalcy.

...how the city's vendors did not create any un-natural shortages and sell things at higher prices, taking advantage of the terror situation raging in parts of the city. How the stock market did not sag.

...how the residents of Colaba came out in the open on day three and shouted patriotic slogans to spur and support their nation's forces. To show them they cared and wanted them to win against the people they were fighting. To show unity and oneness in the face of danger.

...how critical security checks are and how we need to be patient and co-operative when we are asked to stop, open up. How we should not snap and shout at the people doing their job to help us. How the next time, we can smile and say a small thanks at the airport or the mall. That is definitely doing our bit.

...how the state and country's politicians go into hiding at a time like this. Not a single message was heard from state or central government giving thanks to the forces at the end of the treacherous operations. What poor communicators we are. How mannerless some of us are when we forget to say sorry and thank-you.

...how the Indian Army, the National Security Guard, the Marine Commando force, the Indian Airforce, the Police and every other security agency is worth paying for and can be relied upon. They are our saviours of last resort. Effective as they may be at their jobs, the endeavour should be never to test their mettle again and again, in fact ever again.

...that hospitality is in fact a premier industry in our country. They hire the nicest people who are wonderful human beings. Who are caring and empathetic with sterling qualities of loyalty. Who put duty before self whenever they can.

...how beautiful a building the Taj really is. Never have I seen it with those eyes as I did watching parts of it burn through the 60 hours of siege it went under. I prayed for the Taj. My worst fear was that they wanted to take it down. That it was being booby trapped and made ready to be blown apart. That they would convert it into a tomb for themselves. That the only reason they were holding out was to be able to blow themselves and the Taj sky-high. Thank God those fears went unfounded.

...that some people will even try to hi-jack an event like this to draw attention back to themselves. That we don't need a standard of terror as set by 9/11. Who the hell calls this 'India's 9/11'? That is the most demeaning description of what happened here in Mumbai, India. We have gone through our own harrowing experiences, our own sadness, with our own grief to contend with. The fight was fought on our ground, by our people and won by our heroes. Our own politicinas bungled and did not step up to the cup. It was our neighbour that ended up hating us so much, they tried to wipe us out yet again. It was all ours. Unfortunately. Thank you very much to those who want to compare it to America's famed tradegy. But no thanks. We need to keep this separate. To me it will always be Mumbai, India's 26/11.

...how we need to raise our voices and not let this attack be forgotten. If we are truly a democracy, let us be one now. Our freedom needs us.

"Hamare Liye Kuch Mushkil Nahin Hai"

59 hours, three major operations, scores of bodies to handle, hundreds of lives yet to be saved, iconic structures to preserve, a people's pride, a city's faith and their country's trust to uphold. These were the variables the country's NSG had to deal with while they fought pitched battles with terrorists in Mumbai over the weekend and earlier. Once the operations were finally over on Saturday morning which was Day Four of the whole terrible saga, a Times Now reporter caught one of the NSG operatives in a candid moment. This is what was seen on national television:

He was no Bruce Willis, though the similarites were there. His unshaven face looked bright and cheerful after several hours of battle. How many hours he had been on the job, could not be said. He climbed into the BEST bus that was waiting to take the guards away. As he filed past the window behind his colleagues, the voice of the reporter from outside must have arrested him. He paused and looked straight at her. She asked him full of awe, offering her sympathy, "Yeh sab apke liye kitna mushkil hua hoga?" (All this must have been so difficult for you.)

He smiled broadly, showing gleaming white teeth, and replied: "Hamare liye kutch mushkil nahin hai." (Nothing is difficult for us.)

To me that captured the spirit of our city and our country and it made my heart soar even in the face of the trauma that all of us had seen and felt from afar over the past three days. What a strong and simple statement. One that was backed by his actions over the past few days. Not an empty claim, but words pregnant with meaning, honesty, plain and simple truth and, to me, hope.

Hamare liye kuch mushkil nahin hai, said the un-named hero.

If this motto could play in our heads anytime we faced an uphill task and helped us overcome our difficulties, oh how wonderful it would be!

I vote this line to be a fitting reply to the terrorists and one that embodies our collective response - that of Mumbai and of India. Hamare liye kuch mushkil nahin hai.

(I acknowledge Times Now for airing this clip and sharing it with viewers. It was a very inspiring piece of reporting.)

A 40-hour Istanbul Dash

As i write this, Mumbai's siege, too, nears its' 40-hour mark. It is terrible to think our city has been terrorised for so long. I dedicate this piece of writing to the wonderful people of Mumbai city.

Last week i was given an option, visit Istanbul for 40 hours or not at all. Was that a choice? Of course, i decided to go. Here's how it went:

Istanbul is just 6 hours from Mumbai. But we went via Dubai taking 9 hours. We gained 3.5 hours due to time difference. It always helps to fly west and gain time on short trips like this. I felt very cheesy having left Mumbai at 3.30 pm arriving at Istanbul airport at 9.15pm! Sounds like a good deal? It was!

Istanbul as a city is said to live by night. If the throbbing music on a Friday night at one of the city's hotspots was anything to go by, it does. We went to look around after checking in at our hotel and saw and heard the faces and voices of the proverbial young Turk. After a coffee and a chat with our elderly but extremely accomodating guide, Kaan, we headed back to the Ritz Carlton (very swish and comfortable).

The next day consisted of sightseeing in earnest. There are five major sights in Istanbul. For that matter every city in the world probably fits into the five-top-sights formula. In Istanbul it helps that they are all in a small area of one square kilometre.

Above: The sun rises over Anatolia, Asia, across the Bosphorous as seen from the European side of the city. The stormy clouds bear early information of the windy day that was to follow. Ajay described it as the 'sky in your blog'. True, it does look like that.

 

Above: The Sultanahmet Imperial Mosque (the Blue Mosque). Built in the early 1600s, it is a six minaret mosque. It is probably the most famous mosque of the city and boasts elegant blue Iznik tile interiors; hence the name.

 

Above: inside the mosque

 

Above: Hagia Sophia (Saint Sophia) is the most controversial building from olden days Istanbul. It exists in one form or another since the 4th century, was burnt down twice and reconstructed each time. It was originally a church, converted to a mosque. Now it is neither, being wisely termed a 'museum'. There are still stunning Christian mosaics on the first floor from the Byzantine times though several of these were plastered over, since the Muslim faith did not like images of any kind, specially eyes.

Above:The Cistern.  Clever lighting illuminates this beautiful underground waterbody which was afterall just a tank that fed the palaces and mosques. An altogether serene and amazing place with several unmatching columns holding up the ceiling. They were not matched since no one ever thought this part would be seen by anyone and the pillars were all 'left-overs' from other constructions.

Above: Grounds of the Topkapi Palace of the Ottoman Sultans. They are fairly simple and less impressive than those of many other palaces. The palace itself is beautiful - not very palatial but rather understated and elegant, built around four courtyards. It had extensive kitchens, harem chambers, armoury, Sultan's chambers, a special circumcision room and many other special areas. After every war that was won a new chamber or pavilion was added. The jewels were stunning and yes, some of the most beautiful thrones on display were those that were plundered and brought back from India. No photography was allowed inside the palace. Later a more ostentatious palace called the Dolmabahce Palace was built along the banks of the Bosphorous.

 

Above: View of the Bosphorous and Asia across from an open pavilion in the Topkapi Palace.

    

Above: The ancient Hippodrome where games and Roman-style chariot races were held in Byzantine times. This is the column of Constantine.

Other than the above top five sights there are a few mosques and two major palaces to see. If it were a longer visit, a second day of sight-seeing could be dedicated to these.

At this point, the seige on Mumbai enters it's 41st hour. The Oberoi and Trident are supposed to be safe now. Two remaining terrorists have been shot there today. However the Taj is not yet cleared of terrorists. In Nariman House there is a fierce gun battle still raging. It is not over yet, but one hopes it will be soon. The NSG has done a stellar job of storming each locations with utmost caution.

What we had seen in the first half of the day was what i call the body of beautiful Istanbul.  Now, being lunchtime we were ready to explore the gastronomic side of the city starting at the famous Hamdi Restaurant located in the square outside the impressive Suleymaniye Imperial Mosque.

Above is a selection of cold mezze starters - all vegetarian! To be eaten with pita bread. Amazing! This was followed by a cup of thick sludgy Turkish coffee and some unusual sweet dishes, one baked with cheese and crispy semolina. I could only take a few sips of the coffee before the powdery sludge surfaced under, but that was enough to give me a taste of the notoriously strong stuff!

After lunch we trawled through the Spice Market - a colourful vibrant collection of shops selling nuts, different cheeses, dryfruits and ,of course, spices!

From here we moved on to the Grand Bazar - a collection of 4000 shops clustered together in a covered market of labyrinthine cobbled lanes. The wares on sale are typical tourist items like pottery, carpets, fakes, leather, textiles, souvenir t-shirts, brass and glassware. It was more a pleasure to see and absorb the lively images and atmosphere of this place than buy anything as such. This brought us to the end of the first 20-odd hours in the city.

Meanwhile the action in Mumbai has hotted up again. The seige in Nariman house has taken centre stage as the clock ticks over the 42nd hour mark since the start of the tragic incidents. There could be as many as 3-4 terrorists holed up in there with or without an equal number of hostages - mostly Israeli Jews.

Having explored the heart of Istanbul on Day 1, I decided to look into it's soul on Day 2. My guide on the second day was Ferruh and she was just the right person to relax with and just chat about the city and its culture and customs. Gulgun, our guide on the first day had been perfect, too, since she was so informative and had shown us around so efficently and completely.

 

Above is a favourite symbol of Istanbul. Whenever seen in silhouette form this monument is in the centre of the skyline. It is the historic Galata Tower, used as a lighthouse or a watch-tower by all the occupants of Istanbul including the Byzantines, the Genoese and the Ottomans. It is located in the artsy district amid cafes, juice corners, book and music stores.

 

Above a young Turk helps a customer to some pears as she sits in her car alongside the stall and instructs the boy in what she needs! Such were the colourful and interesting spectacles in the by-lanes around the Galata Tower.

 

Fresh bread anyone? Just baked (it was warm!), being sold on this lazy, cold but sunny Sunday morning in the bakeries around the Galata Tower. Residents were just trickling into the street around 10am to buy their breakfast.

 

Wash your breakfast down with a glass of freshly squeezed, exotic, pomergranate juice - a famous beverage in this part of the world.

 

Another favourite snack - the simit - a sort of bagel heavily encrusted with flavourful sesame seeds. It is a favourite grab-and-go food amongst the locals for any time hunger calls.

 

And this is the well-known Turkish tea. It is had continuously through the day and is served in dainty curvaceous glasses set on a small porcelain saucer. It is usually had black with or without the addition of sugar. One glass is followed by the next in a seamless ritual of tea drinking.

 

The eating never stops! Above is a delicious cup of Kanlicha (Kaan Leeshuh) yoghurt from the Anatolia (Asia) side of the Bosphorous eaten with a large dollop of sugar! It is thick and creamy and grainy with just the right level of sweet-sourness! Absolutely divine!

 

It is not just eating that most people do in Istanbul! This man enjoys a peaceful nap in the sunny patch on the ferry on the Bosphorous.

 

Cruising on the Bosphorous, we passed several handsome buildings like this old mosque in Ortakoy where a mosque, a synagogue and a church are said to exisit in harmony side by side. While my heart continues to bleed for my Mumbai, I pray for such tolerance in every part of the world and in every man.

 

The ferry on the Bosphorous zig-zags between the European and the Anatolian or Asian side. There are wooden villas or 'yalis' which are gracious private residences belonging to rich residents of Istanbul. There are hotels, of course, like the beautiful Four Seasons Hotel above. The story goes that usually an old heritage building that is occupied by a school or educational establishment experiences a mysterious fire and after a few years of being unoccupied, it is taken over or sold to an international hotel chain. Obviously substantial sums of money exchange hands between the authorites and the interested parties!

 

This statesque waterfront building is part of a university. But a few years later it may be a hotel, or so my guide lamented! A doctrate and university lecturer herself, she was vehemently opposed to these underhand deals! When i asked her why she chose to be a guide she simply stated that she loved her city and culture and meeting people and talking about Istanbul and had done it on and off for the last 19 years alongside her university job.

 

This was the end of the cruise with the open sea beyond being the Black Sea. It was truly glorious to be out on this historical channel that splinters the city of Istanbul geographically and causes it to actually straddle two continents - Asia on the eastern side and Europe on the west. It was an extremely sensitive channel in the past and continues to be such with a lot of haggling taking place over it's use by countries including Russia involving transportation of sensitive cargo like oil.

 

Lunch as in the largely pedestrian district near Taksim Square. This was a quaint street with tables on the pavement outside a fish market. The area was spotlessly clean and a pleasure to be in. There were shops and vendors clustered around the narrow alleyways. I spotted a wizened old man with a hand-cart selling what looked like second-hand goods and bought several interesting looking items for 5 and 10 Turkish Lira (USD3-7) that the man said were probably silver plated! They included a sugar caddy, milk and cream jugs and a few spoons. After i got back to Bombay, i shone them with Silvo and, sure enough, they took on a promising silvery sheen! Even though a genie did not appear in response to my furious rubbing, the deal had gone in my favour, i felt.

Well, that is all from my brief Istanbul trip. It ended up being a lot more than i had imagined a mere 40-hour visit to be about.

Meanwhile back home, the stand-off at the Taj Hotel in Mumbai enters the 44th hour. The people of Mumbai are now seen getting more restless and actually quite desperate. For the first time we saw agitated voices, teary faces and worried looks on the television. After all these hours this is only to be expected. In fact, this is much longer than can be expected from people under such severe pressure.

Alarmingly, unimaginably, the Taj is at the moment being fired at with grenade launchers from the outside. All this in an effort to flush out the terrorists now that the civilians seem to be safe. The damage to the Taj will be huge but it is being considered worthwhile if the terrorists can be isolated and brought out.

What is all this in aid of? I can't help but ask with bitterness. Finally, it feels like history repeating itself. The guides in Istanbul had shown us several buildings and locations where fires and other destructive means had been used to wipe out historic, well-loved landmarks over and over again. But the only lesson from all these that i choose to remember is that each time this happened the citizens had re-built their beloved structures. Istanbul stood testament to this happening hundreds of times since the 4th century. It will continue to happen to this day in Mumbai, I am sure.

And let me end this post on an optimistic note - amid the worst terror attack on the country in it's history, the Bombay Sensex ended up 66 points! Yeh hai Mumbai meri Jaan.

Reactions of an ordinary being

First came an sms at 1.30am that school would be closed that day. My mind puzzled over it and could make no sense of the sudden decision. I was peeved, in fact, and thought the school had decided at the last minute to give everyone a longer Thanksgiving weekend. But my being knew something was wrong. Sleep after this moment was troubled and fraught with images of loss and unwellness.

Then came another sms at 4.30am from Jakarta, enquiring about our well-being. Now even my mind knew something else was the matter. The TV came on and all became clear. When, finally, my sister called sobbing at 6am just to hear my voice and know that all of us were unharmed, we felt truly shaken.

Whereas i was extremely upset by the happenings and was doing all i could to respond, i found my reactions coming from a different, deeper level. It was my being that was dealing with the grave news of the terror attacks in Bombay and not my rational mind anymore. I find in all such times of deep sadness our being or our bio-intelligence or prarabdhata takes over. And we would do well to hand ourselves over to it. The being knows best at such times.

So what is it that i was being guided to do from deep inside me?

First was the basic instinct of survival. I checked food supplies. All that was needed was procured from outside 'before things got any worse'. This is a normal first reaction when things begin to collapse in any place. We think of our physical survival and that of our families. Not very different from when a city was laid siege to in the ancient times by marauders who came from across borders and seas. And our intelligence comes from those times.

Then there was a need to see all the family members. If we were not sitting together in a room, i felt i had to constantly keep track of who was where.

Now the attention went outside the home and there was a need to make connection with those in the city outside and check if they were safe. However there was no desire to make verbal contact. The sms route was found to be preferable. There was some preservation instinct that did not want to hear anymore about the disaster and the bloodshed. Just a written assurance was what was sought.

Thirst was the pre-dominant need, not food. My body demanded contant hydration - i guess a result of faster heart rates and perspiration. And cold food was preferred to anything hot. Even the sight of anything red and spicy was revolting, at least for the time being.

There was also a need to expend energy. The build up of emotions in the body had to be discharged. I had a strong urge to run and had to go to the gym to get rid of the feeling. The workout really helped in making me feel calmer and more in control.

There was an overwhelming need to put affairs in order. I dealt with mundane things like mail with inordinate efficiency. I saw myself writing cheques and tying up loose ends that would normally languish on my desk until the very last moment. I worked with a desire to know that all was well at my own end and that i was in control at least of something - in this case of things related to me and mine.

I had an urge to straighten things, to clean, to set right stuff in the house that had lain around for weeks or months. Suddenly, i wanted to put them all away in their right places, as if i was preparing for an arrival or maybe a departure. Everything i did was with a deep sense of methodic calm. I knew by now that this went deeper than my self. It came from my being.

Finally I went for a shower - again i sought water to cool and calm myself. When it came to choosing a t-shirt, i stood before my cupboard. Recognising a thought that urged me to wear something cheerful - i went towards a red t-shirt. It was bright and would shout at everyone around to look at the one wearing it. In the next instance, my hand had snaked down to another part of the pile and pulled out an old worn white t-shirt and i put it on knowing this was the right one for today. I could not get myself to wear red today. It could hurt sensibilites and make me feel exposed and something from deep within had rejected the very idea.

We must listen to our bodies, to our actions and reactions. They go well beyond us. We know even when we think we don't.

Let us mourn for Mumbai as that is what my being wants to do, not think what a wonderful resilient city it is. For it is, but it needs our love and sympathy for just a few moments more.

That October in 2008

October came and went with a crash. The whole world changed and almost each one of us was shaken to our very roots. Besides all the external turmoil, i had a lot happening.  The two most important men in my life had birthdays and there were gifts and surprise parties to be organised, there was a puja in the house to bring in good cheer and well-being around the time of Diwali and in a time of unprecedented downturn, then there was a week of vacation in which we had to go away to my sister's family and enjoy ourselves thoroughly with, my in-laws were here to enjoy and help with all of the above and to top it all, Mr. Billy Joel decided to sing in Hong Kong and I had to, simply had to go there to listen to him along with my girlfriends! Now isn't that a whole lot of responsiblity for one month? Well, the short of it is that blog writing went for a toss, but i'm here to make up some of the lost time!

When i went to the ashram in Bidadi in Sept, I put on a bracelet that Swamiji himself placed on my wrist. It is beautiful with the words Nithyananda engraved on the top. They serve as a reminder, a slogan, to remain in the present moment or in eternal bliss or nithyananda. It is made of brass, copper and some white metal which may be silver, but i'm not sure. What i know is that it is blessed by the master and carries his positive vibrations. I love the bracelet and wear it with pride.

However, I also wore along with it, the other bangles that i had been wearing before. They were the gold bangles that had  been given me just a few months before as a birthday gift. The bangles and the bracelet together made such a din clanging and banging that soon everyone in the house began to notice. My daughter commented the bangles announced my arrival anywhere much before i came. I, too, was disturbed by the sound.

That is when i decided to take off the gold bangles. I had to rest them. This experience became a metaphor for the old making way for the new. You have to give up something to get something, even if what you give up is as precious as gold. And it also questioned the values we put on things, just because we have been taught that by society. Why should gold be more precious than copper? Who said so? Finally value depends on what we derive out of something. There was an alchemy that was taking place, I realised, and just as baser metals are burnt in the process to create the precious metal - gold - in my case the gold was being replaced. It was my alchemy and in this case it was the right process for me.

The perspective excited me. I felt the inanimate bangles had taught me a valuable lesson. Who says non-living things cannot communicate with us? They all have an energy and a vibration that may be lower than that of living things. And of course they lack prana or the life giving force, but they do have strength. It was so clear to me that day.

Now, i wear my lone bracelet happily and quietly go about my day, disturbing no one, least of all me. I have my gold bangles in a drawer. I look at them every now and then. I still derive pleasure from their beauty. They are still mine, but i just use them differently. They were my ego which i chose to set aside. One day, if I need to don my gold bangles for a special ocassion i will. But I will do it knowingly and with consciousness. This is the way in which we ought to use our ego. I will know that i am doing it by making a conscious decision.

I will even take off my Nithyanandam bracelet if i need to one day. But right now, if i've ever tried to take it off, it clings to my wrist. It refuses to budge. Or maybe i give up easily saying it's too tight, it won't move. I'm not ready to let go of it yet. But one day i will. I'll let go of the bracelet. Maybe that'll be the day i will discover i've sprouted wings on my back.