Detachment vs. Indifference

Detachment is something worth striving for in life on this earth. It is detachment that will give us happiness in the moment. When we are not attached to our memories and possessions we become free to live unencumbered in the now. Many of us strive to be detached but in effect it is not so. We may be detached in words and even actions, but in our minds we are still attached, still hankering. We wait for our opinion to be asked, even if we do not volunteer it anymore. However in wanting to be heard we are still attached to the act of opining. Sometimes we may think we deserve something due to our position or station or status in life. We may not openly ask for that but we feel we deserve it anyway. Respect cannot be asked for or desired in the world. This is also being attached to the respect that we feel is our right. Is this truly detached?

Detached is the one who acts in the best interest of himself and others and then think no further of his words, actions or deeds. If they are accepted by others as wise and useful, it is fine with him. If they are shunned either due to misinterpretation or any other reason, then also it is fine. If people are indifferent, this also is accepted by the detached person. This is because he got so much satisfaction from the act of doing something that he does not desire any results in the future. His actions begin and end in the present moment and they cease to bother him in the future. He keeps no count of how many people liked what he said or did, followed his advice or recalled his actions. Detachment necessarily needs another companion - that is compassion. Only when there is compassion a detached person can forgive those who may wrong him. For example a person give some genuine heartfelt advice to another. The receiver rejects the words of advice outright. The giver of advice, if he is truly detached will not mind this. He will feel i have done my duty by giving the advice, now it is okay if it is not followed. However in addition he will also forgive the person who rejected his words. He will feel, he is ignorant, forgive him and may God give him wisdom to see what he is missing right now. He will actually pray for the salvation of such a person. 

Does this sound familiar? Is it coming down to the same principle? Yes! Detachment is really absence of ego. For when there is no ego there is no expectation of reward. The doer does and that is all. When there is ego, there is either anger or indifference. If someone does not follow our advice, we feel a sense of rejection followed by indifference or 'i don't care attitude'. Actually we care deeply. The indifference is just a mask the hurt ego wears. Inside it is smarting and waiting to be pampered. Indifference will never help a person achieve detachment. For a detached person will never stop doing. He will do because doing gives him joy, not the results of the deed. An indifferent person on the other hand will become bitter and upset. 

Once again the way forward lies in meditating, which will finally tame the ego. All the added benefits of love, compassion and humility will also flow in addition to detachment!