A day spent with a Friend...Priceless

With due apologies to Visa for borrowing their 'priceless' concept, i begin my post.

Oct 15 is my dear friend's birthday - Deepa Soman to those of you who may know her. For years now, Deepa has asked for only one thing of me, that too for her birthday, that we spend a day together, chatting, laughing, reminiscing, doing whatever we please. This tradition we have now wholeheartedly observed for the last 4 years. Since it was that time of year again, after much calendar-matching etcetera that day was today. By way of an agenda we thought of visiting Ganapathi in Mahad, one of the 8 Ashtavinayaks closest to Mumbai. Deepa is an avid Ashtavinayak goer and it was with her and Milind's facilitation that i had done the pilgrimage earlier this year. This seemed like a perfect start to the day - to meet our favourite Lord and seek His blessings. I was on a spiritual / religious discovery, as it were, of this city we live in - Mumbai and this was exactly what i would love to do, especially with Deepa. There wasn't much else planned thereafter and a languid lunch in humid Lonavala over a couple of margheritas was as far as my thoughts had drifted. Not entirely inconceivable, as we had done this in the past ;-).

In reality, the day took a completely different turn. But i should have expected that! Nothing wonderful is ever planned - it just happens with inspiration from an unexplained source. First we worshipped in a full and moving manner at the temple in Mahad. We were going on the Tuesday, Vinayaka's auspicious day and Deepa confessed that in all the years she had been there, she had never ventured on a Tuesday, suspecting large crowds and whatnot. We were pleasantly surprised with an almost empty temple that thronged with energy and vitality at that early hour. This was just the first of many surprises. We shopped in the little temple street for prasad, bangles, idols, cassettes and all manner of small and amazing things. The shopkeepers were old bent women who spoke only Marathi, welcoming us as their first customers of the day. They exclaimed over the 'new' Rs. 2 coins i paid them with. Smaller, lighter, shinier and entirely fake looking, they rejected it first - pushing it back into my palm. Until one of their own confirmed it was indeed the 'new' coin and therefore valid currency. A crying baby with a scraped knee attracted our attention. Her face covered in white powder - obviously the end of her toilet for the day - was streaked with tears of anguish, but mostly anger at having taken a small toss. We commiserated and she was immediately mollified. We left her waving and grinning all over her tear-stained face. 

Where to now? This time our stomachs provided the inspiration. Ramakant's restaurant, famous on the old Mumbai-Pune highway, but now long negelcted due to the new expressway that by-passes it, came up as an option for lunch. It was immediately appealing as it would feed our nostalgia as much as our hunger. But we were so busy talking, we took a wrong turn and were soon heading in the wrong direction. However never challenge two women who have their hearts and stomachs set on something. We u-turned and were soon on our way there. Half an hour later we were there, much to our driver's amusement. 'You came all the way here, for vada pav,' he asked. 'It's priceless,' we told him.

After pet-puja we headed back towards home. On the way Deepa had a gift for me. A visit to the St. Jude's Home on the Tata Memorial Centre grounds in Kharghar. It is a facility where kids with cancer live with their parents while they are receiving treatment. Now think of such a place and what do you imagine? I will tell you what i did. Sadness, children suffering alongside their parents, small, dark and dingy rooms, maybe squalor, unkempt surroundings (after all who would bother with niceties when all your energy was being drained by your child's illness), cramped, overcrowded living conditions, the smell of medicines, fear and despair, and even surly staff alltogether spent doing their jobs. I gulped with trepidation. Was i strong enough for this? Deepa realized and tried to soothe my fears. But it was not until i got there that i truly realized what she meant. 

St. Judes was bright and cheerful as a play school. Colourful walls, tiles, play equipment and smiles. That's all i saw as i walked in. At every step Deepa was greeted like a celebrity she indeed was here. She had had a few interactions and obviously had won their hearts over as much as they had hers and were about to win over mine. The living was on the floors above the recreation and reception area. Each floor is a until of 16 dwellings. They was in fact cubicles with single beds, almirahs, a few shelves and a soft board each. Each one was as neat and clean and as freshly-minted as if it was pressed into service today. The floors were gleaming tiles that shone. The kitchen was spotless. The children walked around - comfortable and clearly 'at home.' The only thing that made it clear they were cancer patients was that most of them had lost all their hair, but this common denominator made then in fact un-inhibited and matter of fact. They greeted us with smiles and tugs. As the parents smiled and said 'namaste.' Deepa seemed to know most of them as she had interviewed several a few weeks ago. On all the 3 floors the story was repeated. An admin-incharge was present on each floor. I saw no desk, no paper - just a pleasing, comforting presence 24X7 from a dedicated staff member and care-giver. She quietly supervised the cleanliness and observation of the rules without being authoritative. The residents seemed eager enough to comply. This was their 'temple' they said. Their refuge. Their place of hope and happiness, even if for a few months. For some it could be the last few mnoths in the life of their child, but such sentiments were never in evidence. Instead I felt a deep sense of gratitude pulsing through the place. 

After such a visit what was there left to do? Nothing much - i had received more than i could ever imagine. I had received grace by observing how the children and their families were dealing with their lot. It was a beautiful if humbling experience. 

We traveled back to Deepa's office where i was further rewarded with a team meeting with her beautiful and talented gang of girls. They are simply the best people to be around - gentle, smart, hardworking, vibrant, positive and multi-faceted - many of them aspiring to be cast in Deepa's mould. We had some amazing exchanges over dry-fruit lassi - a most innovative drink-cum-snack. My day was done. But not until i had put it down so i could record how wonderful it had been and how extremely rewarded and rich my friend makes me feel. 

Har ek friend zaroori hota hai yaar ;-) (now with apologies to Airtel for borrowing their great line!)

Comments

[Deepa Soman]

Wah! Well-recorded and we have this one deeply imprinted don't we? Amazing time together... muchness as always and my cup (lassi glass) overfloweth... :-)

[Jayshree Gerken]

Welcome back to your blog, Mohyna - what a nice, uplifting post. Given its content, I wanted to send you the following link:

http://www.chicagonow.com/mary-tyler-mom/donnas-cancer-story-2/

It is a deeply moving, intensely personal cancer journey of one mom and her daughter. Her goal - to raise pediatric cancer awareness by giving it a face and a name. A tough read, but as Donna's mom says, "If Donna could live it, you all can read it." Her story made me do a little digging and I became aware of how little funding and research there is to develop new treatments for pediatric cancer. It is a cause I have decided to take up, through local (San Diego) organizations, in some small way. What amazing work your friend Deepa is doing.

Best Wishes and Love,
Jayshree

[Mohyna Srinivasan]

Hi Jayshree, How amazing to be connected through our experiences. I was moved beyond words when i visited the centre. Yet, i tried to put down what i saw and felt in the blog. I love the fact that you have moved beyond 'experience' and to 'action'. It is a long step for most of us and i commend you for taking it. Deepa, too, has taken it up with all her enthusiasm and ability. She declined to be on the board of the organization for practical reasons, though they wanted her to be, but is rallying support and arranging Diwali parties for the kids and what not! When i am back in Mumbai (I'm in Jakarta now!) i will send you the link to the St Jude's site. Thank you so much for your warm words and support.

[Jayshree Gerken]

Hi Mohyna, I already looked up the St. Jude's site - so nice to see the happiness they bring to these children and their families. I hope in my lifetime to see pediatric cancers being completely treatable. That the young, vibrant, future citizens of the world should be ravaged by this disease, simply because we devote more money and attention to adult treatments than child treatments, is so very sad.

Have a great time in Jakarta!